3 Simple Steps to Move from the Fraud Mindset to the Free Mindset

Have you ever felt like a fraud? Yeah, me too. Four years ago, I ran two marathons in one weekend to secure my spot as a #marathonmaniac. Now, however, running a half marathon seems daunting. ⁣

I can’t help but feel that because I used to be a faster runner, weighed less, and was stronger, I am a fraud. ⁣

The medals that are hanging beside my treadmill are the medals I earned in 2016. In 2016, I ran 29 races which included 6 full marathons. ⁣

A lot has happened In the last four years. In 2017, I started the IVF process. After two failed IVF transfers, I became pregnant in 2018. Late 2018, I gave birth to my miracle baby. In 2019, my postpartum comeback year, I ran a total of 20 races which included 7 half marathons and 4 full marathons. Now it’s 2020 and I can’t help but feel as though I should now be back to where I was in 2016. ⁣

I, however, am not who I was in 2016. Going through the battle of trying to conceive a child changed me. Giving birth to my first biological child changed me. Earning my Masters Degree when my baby was only 8 months old changed me. Now learning the balance of teaching, spending quality time with my husband, raising two teens and a toddler, hanging out with friends, blogging, and running has changed me. ⁣

So, am I a fraud? No. I am who I am TODAY, not 4 years ago. ⁣

Friends, hold your head up high. Let’s celebrate who we are TODAY instead of focusing on who we were in the past.

Let’s celebrate who we are TODAY instead of focusing on who we were in the past.

Here’s three simple steps to move from the “fraud” mindset to the “free” mindset.

  1. Listen for the lies, not to the lies. Our mind is powerful. We must work to recognize the lies that permeate our mind throughout the day. According to Dr. Caroline Leaf in her book, Switch On Your Brain, when we choose to engage in the lies and toxic thoughts such as unforgiveness, bitterness, irritation, hatefulness, etc. we actually change the DNA which then “changes the the shape of our brain wiring in a negative direction.”
  1. Write down the truths. As a child, my mom made both my brother and I a poster that hung in our room that listed the truths of who we were, who God made us to be. I’ve made a similar poster for my kids and it has been powerful! Simply grab a piece of paper and write down what makes you unique. If this is difficult to do, ask a loved one to help you. For example, my truth poster may read, “Stephanie, you are an achiever, you are an adventurer, you are intelligent, you are passionate, etc.”
  1. Stop comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy. Stop comparing yourself to others and stop comparing yourself to your former self. If needed, take a social media break. It’s so easy to scroll Facebook or Instagram, see all of these people who seem so happy, and then we became miserable in who we are or where we are currently in life. Stop! This is toxic! If you find yourself comparing yourself to others or your former self, go to your truth poster, read it aloud (several times if needed), and then make a gratitude list. You can “rewire” your brain to be happy by simply recalling three things you’re grateful for every day for 21 days. Don’t believe it? Try it.

I’m confident that by following the three simple steps above, you too can move from the fraud mindset to the free mindset. Drop me a comment below if there’s anything you’d add to my list or if you too sometimes find yourself in the fraud mindset.


Christian, wife, mom/stepmom, no meat athlete, runner, teacher

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1 Comment

  1. Great post, thanks! Many things ring true for me there too. I also try and focus on positive events or comments that occur – so often we focus (or at least I) on anything negative but seem to just ignore or forget anything positive, no matter how small! Thanks again though, enjoyed reading that

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